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  • Writer's pictureSue Skavlem

Everything's Fine

Updated: Sep 22, 2021

Practicing Uncomfortable Conversations to Create Better Business Relationships

Communication as a friend and as a business person is super important to me, and I'm always trying to learn. As a Fargo transplant, I find that the majority of the culture here echoes the Scandinavian roots of Stoicism.

When you have a community or business culture that values stoicism, cheerfulness, and team-spirit as the end-all in your communication, you may end up with a whole mess of underlying passive-aggression.

What Does That Mean?

Says it's ok. - It's not OK

Why don't people just say what they mean?

Great question. There are a few reasons. 1.They may be really private, and only tell their close friends their true thoughts and feelings. 2.They may be conditioned by gender or culture to "take one for the team. (stoicism)" 3.They may not know how to have uncomfortable conversations, with a person who they respect, in a safe place.

Let's take a closer look at the cultural values of stoicism, and social pressure that follows.

The passive-aggressive conversation escalation goes like this:

Everything's fine* Everything's fine** Everything's fine*** Someone's car is on fire. ****

And to outsiders, it seems like that escalated rather quickly. But having hard conversations instead of the passive anger of "everything's fine" means overcoming that cultural expectation, and that's really uncomfortable to many of the area's citizens.

Mediation can definitely help uncomfortable conversations happen without the escalation.

And learning to have those uncomfortable conversations yourself is a soft-skill that you'll use in every relationship & work environment.

*Everything is not fine **Really not ok ***Visualization of retribution **** They should have known better

Want to learn more about conflict resolution & cultural expectations... we can totally talk about it!

Meet The Author

Sue from Skavlem Designs

When I make a design, I think – What can this do?

These designs don’t just exist. These designs DO. They work hard alongside you and your business. These designs are levers. They are sales. They are engaged customers. They are brand recognition that gets you that meeting.

Top 3 things I love to do: Read. Paint. Snowboard.

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